storytime face

Nestled against the exterior wall of a hidden campus location hides the amused face of a quiet and majestically inanimate object. Gerbert usually prefers to be passed by, tolerate tinfoil stuffed in his face, water running down his nose, atmospheric air oxidizing his body, or be altogether disregarded by society. On the rare occasion that an observant passerby casts an intrigued glance at his suggestively symmetrical bolt eyes or inherently living facial structure, Gerbert’s blood pressure skyrockets with intense anxiety. He appreciates his secret of life to be kept under the metaphorical and physical rain drain.

            Based on his past, you could say Gerbert was a forgotten kid. Almost seven years ago, his cousin was relocated to the opposite end of J-Building, and Gerbert does not dare to spill his secret of life; utilizing a messenger and attempting to reinitialize contact with old Rumpert the rain drain. What would you expect? It was probably the uncontrolled squeaks that Rumpert used to issue during heavy windstorms which provoked the janitor to reposition him. Sometimes Gerbert is certain that he can still hear him over in the direction of the main office. Gerbert’s primary occupation consists of redirecting water and ensuring that it’s routed to the underworld. He’s done this with a sort of content passion, like a housewife amused by domestic chores.

            During Oregon’s semi-heated summer months, Gerbert is allowed an escape from the typical chaos and nervousness generated by countless students, and is instead awarded with a relatively tranquil campus. Furthermore, the responsibilities brought by rain during the other three seasons are mostly alleviated. He takes advantage of this free time to catch up on his taxes and recalculate his lost revenue caused from depreciation. Eventually, Gerbert hopes the district will one day replace his lower torso section with fresh steel. For now, he works on.

-------------

Name: Gerbert

Family: Long lost cousin Rumpert the rain drain

Occupation: Funneling rain water and hiding from society

Favorite pass time: Taxes

Hidden talent: Life!

-------------